Friday, January 18, 2013

New Mommy Anxiety

As we close in on this final leg of our adoption journey, I find myself a little anxious abut that change in our lives.  We will officially be the sole caregivers for these two amazing little Haitian beauties.  We will officially be a mommy & daddy... we have waited for so long for this day,  and to see it approaching on the horizon brings a new flood of fears, worries, anxieties and emotions. 

This journey has been such a horribly beautiful- raw and emotional- painful and over the top joyful journey that I wouldn't change.... and it's all about to turn around and become a reality that I sure hope we are ready for.   In our hearts- we are ready... In our home- we are ready...  We have talked and talked... asked and asked... read and researched.... to the best of our ability, we are ready.... right?...  (insert a small amount of anxiousness here).  We have such an amazing supportive family and group of friends.... such a circle of love around us ... and with God at the center of our family, I know we will overcome...  right?... (insert another bit of fear and worry)... We love these girls and feel like we've always known them... but the reality is, we have spent little time with them... and them with us... (another does of anxiety here)...  will they bond quickly?... will they feel safe and secure in their new home with their forever Mommy & Daddy?... I have to believe that God - our ever faithful father is working that out for us, even now... right?  And then there is the worry about their health coming home... their eating habits... new food.. new faces... new places...  they live in an orphanage in a third world country ---  they don't see much else other than the other orphans and the staff... inside the concrete cinder block walls of Maison..... very few times in their lives have they been outside those walls.....will they be totally overwhelmed to the point of breaking?...  We know they will have times of saddness for their friends they have left beind... please God help us handle those times well... PHEW....so much to think about and fret about... and plan for ... and work out... and dream about....  My thoughts make me tired someday's.... And now the nesting has kicked in!!!!  I am organizing and sorting and cleaning out ...  won't be much time for that later when we are knee deep in princess tea parties and barbie dolls... right? 

I heard Joyce Myer make this comment this morning....  "you have everything you already need to be victorious"....  how true is that...  Does't the Word promise that we are MORE than overcomers in Christ...  and that we can do ALL things through Christ who is our strength...  and God promises to NEVER leave nor forsake us...   those are the promises that I cover these fears/worries and anxious thoughts with.... please continue to pray for us as we approach this beautiful pivotal point in our journey...  pray we will have great wisdom and make the right decisions as we transition our girls to their forever home.