Never really been good at waiting.... When we are young... we can't WAIT to be 18...when we are freshmen in high school... we can't WAIT to be seniors.... when we are 18... we can't WAIT to be 21... when it's Monday.. we can't WAIT for it to be Friday... when a vacation nears... we can't WAIT for the departure day to come... when we are hungry... we can't WAIT for the waitress to come with our dinner.... we can't WAIT for Christmas... we can't WAIT for date night... we can't WAIT for the super bowl to air when our favorite team is playing... we can't stand WAITING in lines at the bank, post office or grocery store... we dislike WAITING for the light to turn green.... let's face it.... WAITING IS HARD.
Never ever did I think... I would be waiting... for 2 1/2 years... for my daughters to come home. This is the hardest WAIT I've ever done. One the flip side... my God is loving and gracious and faithful... and in HIM do I trust!
Lord... teach me what you have for me in the waiting... open my heart to receive all you have for me...remind me daily that this waiting is not for void... you have reason's that are so vast beyond my understandiing.... help me to simply trust in you. Teach me how to pray for my children and husband as I wait... mold me and transform me into the mother you are calling me to be as I wait... readjust my thinking...as I wait. Be with my daughters at they wait and help me not to forget that as I sit and wait for them... as I cry and hurt to be with them... they wait too. They are in the middle of this crazy and emotional journey too. Help me keep my eyes fixed on you Lord. Thank you for my kids! Amen
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Sunday, July 29, 2012
I B E S R
I totally realize that those initials mean nothing to most of those we share it with... but IBESR is a huge huge step in our adoption paperwork chase and on Friday July 27th at 5:30 PM.. standing on the steps of Gov's ... our adoption agency called to inform us that we have gotten IBESR approval and are moving forward with our adoption!!!!! I can not tell you the relief that flooded my body... Basically this department is like Social Services... they have deemed our girls adoptable and approved our huge mass of paperwork we were required to submit.... THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!
We also were informed that a handful of other families adopting from our agency also received IBESR approval... we are in a state of rejoicing and amazement... we are praying that this good news brings forth a massive and fast movement not only for us and our future steps... but for all the other families waiting for this part of the journey to be behind them! Next we move to Parquet... a court/legal step that has many little steps in it... we have no idea of how long this will take, but are praying for God to move this along very very quickly for us... and for others! Still have many hurdles and approvals to obtain... but this is BIG BIG news on the adoption front for our family and we are so grateful and excited!!!!
As we wait to bring our girls home... we continue to daily lean on God and lay this at His feet... we are human and walk in our flesh more times than not... but we know who holds this in His hands... we know the One that wants this more than us... and we know the One who is faithful and will bring our children home! This news has really made this journey more real in our hearts... as we wait... things seem to become more out of our reach... and it feels so unreal at times... but this news... this hurdle being accomplished... it's coming... my family is coming together and that knowledge really puts me in a place of disbelief once again... I can't even believe God is handing us this amazing blessing... these two most precious little girls... I can't believe this is my life!
I think of our future and of the day we get on a plane in Port-au-Prince, Haiti... with our kids... and fly home... I think of how Sheldine & Neffy will blend and mold into our lives here and our family... and our friends... What a joyous day.... What a joyous life... PHEW.... Must stop typing ... eyes are filled with tears that God sees and holds in His hands...
We also were informed that a handful of other families adopting from our agency also received IBESR approval... we are in a state of rejoicing and amazement... we are praying that this good news brings forth a massive and fast movement not only for us and our future steps... but for all the other families waiting for this part of the journey to be behind them! Next we move to Parquet... a court/legal step that has many little steps in it... we have no idea of how long this will take, but are praying for God to move this along very very quickly for us... and for others! Still have many hurdles and approvals to obtain... but this is BIG BIG news on the adoption front for our family and we are so grateful and excited!!!!
As we wait to bring our girls home... we continue to daily lean on God and lay this at His feet... we are human and walk in our flesh more times than not... but we know who holds this in His hands... we know the One that wants this more than us... and we know the One who is faithful and will bring our children home! This news has really made this journey more real in our hearts... as we wait... things seem to become more out of our reach... and it feels so unreal at times... but this news... this hurdle being accomplished... it's coming... my family is coming together and that knowledge really puts me in a place of disbelief once again... I can't even believe God is handing us this amazing blessing... these two most precious little girls... I can't believe this is my life!
I think of our future and of the day we get on a plane in Port-au-Prince, Haiti... with our kids... and fly home... I think of how Sheldine & Neffy will blend and mold into our lives here and our family... and our friends... What a joyous day.... What a joyous life... PHEW.... Must stop typing ... eyes are filled with tears that God sees and holds in His hands...
Thursday, June 28, 2012
The Valley
This "journey to parenthood" has been such a walk of blind faith... full of mountain top highs and deep/dark valley lows... Today we found out that Sheldine's BM missed her 3 scheduled USCIS appt and we have to request another appointment for her. It really will not stall our process at this point... it's still early enough (or so we have been told) and that there is plenty of time for her to fulfill her requirement of going to the US Embassy in Port-au-Prince and completing her part of this step.... BUT... GEEZE... we were just hoping for some good news... we do not know why she missed again and I find myself trying NOT to be upset with her. I can not even begin to imagine what her world looks like as I know very little about her. I do not know what the "home" she lives in looks like. I do not know what her at home family dynamic looks like. I do not know what her health situation is like or her financial situation is like. I can neither imagine what an emotionally rollercoaster this is for her as well.... to give up a child because you can no longer provide and care for them... I just can't imagine..... I can only assume, after seeing with my own eyes the total destruction of most of Port-au-Prince... that she has very little. We have been assured that her missing a few times is "not a big deal"... and that Maison staff will make sure she makes it to her appointment at some point... all this being said... I am lifting up this mom tonight to the Lord... I do not know her situation... but He does. I pray He will bless her with clean water to drink, food to eat, medicine if needed, a roof over her head and I pray she has Jesus in her heart. The disconnect with my children is hurting more and more... they are growing and learning.... and needing... and we are not with them... my other prayer tonight is that God would quickly build that final bridge for us to bring them home... Tonight I am in a valley... but just as much as God knows exactly where Sheldine's BM is in her life and in her heart... He knows mine too.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Chicken Pox!
On Friday we got word that Sheldine came down with the Chicken Pox... UGH! We received three pictures of her sitting on the floor covered in calamine lotion... poor poor girl! The O said that she was "doing ok, just itchy"... don't get me wrong, I appreciate the email and the photos..... BUT... that does not help this Momma's heart... I want to hold her and love her through this... how I long to be the one caring for her... I want to be the one that nursed her back to health... When she grows up, and looks back on her childhood memories... she'll remember having the chicken pox... and I won't be a part of that memory. I know God has this all planned out and His timing is perfection... but still....
This really does get harder and harder every day!
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Things I've learned since trip #2 to Haiti
Back from our second trip to Haiti to spend a week with our beautiful daughters... reflecting on the new things I've learned -- comments I feel need to be made... and just stuff to get off my heavy hearted chest
1. The 2nd trip is harder than the 1st.
2. I can miss someone so badly it physically hurts
3. My capacity to love another human being goes so much deeper than I ever expected.
4. Just because you don't share the same "family blood line" does not make you family. I knew this going in.... but it's becoming more and more evident the further into this journey we get... not just our daughters... but the amazing new friends we've met... they are my family!
5. I am scared of lizards and my girls think it's funny.
6. doing laundry can make you cry... washing the girls laundry after coming home has been BRUTAL!
7. Everyone at Maison... from the kids~nannies~Miss Angie~staff... they are a family!!!
8. Sheldine loves Coke from Haiti... and Papa loves to give it to her at 8pm at night! With a chaser of M&M's... NO PAPA!
9. Neffy is the coolest kid I've ever met.
10. Kelly Chambley is AWESOME!
11. Tessa Kanz is my new BFF and her sister Grace is a talented seamstress and Ian is a sweetie pie. Their parents are pretty awesome too!
12. The families, friends & kids we spent the week with on the May Bonding Trip are some of the most amazing people I've ever had the joy, blessing and honor of meeting...
13. Traveling to Haiti is an extreme adventure... not to be entered into lightly... and I'm so proud of my Mom for braving the journey and coming out a ROCK STAR!!! Love you mom
14. My sister Tania has such a servants heart and it was amazing to see how God used her during our time in Haiti...to love on Sheldine & Neffy's "family".
15. Liz Andretta is truely gifted... Thank you my friend!
16. My Darren is head - over- heels in love with his daughters... watching him with them spark a deeper and new found love in my heart for my husband.
17. Sheldine might be a quiet and reserved little girl.. but we shall not let that fool us... she is a goof ball!!!
18. you can never have too many photo's of your kids!
19. Pepto-Bismol in the airport is EXPENSIVE!
20. Next trip to Haiti... can not come soon enough!
This Mamma is missing her girls more than she can describe... it's an ache and longing that I've never felt before... one day at a time... someday the Lord will bring this full circle for us and we will celebrate at all the wonders of His hand!
1. The 2nd trip is harder than the 1st.
2. I can miss someone so badly it physically hurts
3. My capacity to love another human being goes so much deeper than I ever expected.
4. Just because you don't share the same "family blood line" does not make you family. I knew this going in.... but it's becoming more and more evident the further into this journey we get... not just our daughters... but the amazing new friends we've met... they are my family!
5. I am scared of lizards and my girls think it's funny.
6. doing laundry can make you cry... washing the girls laundry after coming home has been BRUTAL!
7. Everyone at Maison... from the kids~nannies~Miss Angie~staff... they are a family!!!
8. Sheldine loves Coke from Haiti... and Papa loves to give it to her at 8pm at night! With a chaser of M&M's... NO PAPA!
9. Neffy is the coolest kid I've ever met.
10. Kelly Chambley is AWESOME!
11. Tessa Kanz is my new BFF and her sister Grace is a talented seamstress and Ian is a sweetie pie. Their parents are pretty awesome too!
12. The families, friends & kids we spent the week with on the May Bonding Trip are some of the most amazing people I've ever had the joy, blessing and honor of meeting...
13. Traveling to Haiti is an extreme adventure... not to be entered into lightly... and I'm so proud of my Mom for braving the journey and coming out a ROCK STAR!!! Love you mom
14. My sister Tania has such a servants heart and it was amazing to see how God used her during our time in Haiti...to love on Sheldine & Neffy's "family".
15. Liz Andretta is truely gifted... Thank you my friend!
16. My Darren is head - over- heels in love with his daughters... watching him with them spark a deeper and new found love in my heart for my husband.
17. Sheldine might be a quiet and reserved little girl.. but we shall not let that fool us... she is a goof ball!!!
18. you can never have too many photo's of your kids!
19. Pepto-Bismol in the airport is EXPENSIVE!
20. Next trip to Haiti... can not come soon enough!
This Mamma is missing her girls more than she can describe... it's an ache and longing that I've never felt before... one day at a time... someday the Lord will bring this full circle for us and we will celebrate at all the wonders of His hand!
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
News from the adoption front!
We are 25 sleeps away from stepping back on a plane and flying to Haiti to see our girls and we could not be more excited. We have 6 1/2 wonderful days to play, snuggle, bond and love on our daughters! My mom, sister and our dear friend Liz are all going with us this trip and that adds a special excitment! We are in the shopping and packing process! I am loving buying new clothes for my girls to take with us... this is the most amazing gift I've ever been given~ I love being their Mom.
On April 10, 2012 our Dossier was presented and accepted into IBESR-(Haiti Social Service Dept). This step for us is HUGE and should take no more than two months, if they stay true to their word. We have many steps after this one, but it's progress at this point~ we will take what we can get! We still have no idea when we will be making that final trip to Haiti to pick up our daughters and bring them home... but we know God's timing is still perfect... so we wait!
On Sunday April 22, 2012~ Darren was given the awesome opportunity to share his testimony (our testimony) about our adoption with the congretation at the Celebration Center in Fort Fairfield. What an amazingly beautiful testimony my husband gave. I could not have been more proud of him. It was such a God thing for Darren to do this... you see, public speaking is NOT his comfort zone. This sharing of our adoption story/journey was simply direct obedience to what the Lord had placed on Darren's heart. The congretation at CC embraced us in such a special way and made us feel so welcome and supported. They prayed over us and took up a love offering- that totaled a staggering amount that still has us in awe. God does things like that though... He gives and goes beyond ......
News from Angie the missionary at Maison today... Neffy is struggling with boundaries in school and Angie is asking us to be praying for her. Sheldine is doing great in pre-k. I guess this is the beginning of worrying about our kids.... extra prayers... wanting to make things better for them... It's so hard to be so far away from her... maybe she just needs her Mamma & Pappa.
On April 10, 2012 our Dossier was presented and accepted into IBESR-(Haiti Social Service Dept). This step for us is HUGE and should take no more than two months, if they stay true to their word. We have many steps after this one, but it's progress at this point~ we will take what we can get! We still have no idea when we will be making that final trip to Haiti to pick up our daughters and bring them home... but we know God's timing is still perfect... so we wait!
On Sunday April 22, 2012~ Darren was given the awesome opportunity to share his testimony (our testimony) about our adoption with the congretation at the Celebration Center in Fort Fairfield. What an amazingly beautiful testimony my husband gave. I could not have been more proud of him. It was such a God thing for Darren to do this... you see, public speaking is NOT his comfort zone. This sharing of our adoption story/journey was simply direct obedience to what the Lord had placed on Darren's heart. The congretation at CC embraced us in such a special way and made us feel so welcome and supported. They prayed over us and took up a love offering- that totaled a staggering amount that still has us in awe. God does things like that though... He gives and goes beyond ......
News from Angie the missionary at Maison today... Neffy is struggling with boundaries in school and Angie is asking us to be praying for her. Sheldine is doing great in pre-k. I guess this is the beginning of worrying about our kids.... extra prayers... wanting to make things better for them... It's so hard to be so far away from her... maybe she just needs her Mamma & Pappa.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
The Wait.....
We are about 40 day's until our next trip to see our girls... it's been almost 2 months since we've seen them... and the grief, pain, loneliness and sadness has not gotten any better... only worse...
This morning on my way to work, I was talking to God and all but begged Him to move... to show us something...to give us something... And like the good and loving Father He is, good news came through today. We received news this afternoon that have entered IBESR....(and on Grammy Joanie's Birthday!) This is a huge step in the whole process in Haiti and we are thrilled! Celebration tonight included Subway and Fox Family Chips!!! What a good feeling I have in my heart...one of hope and joy... I am rejoicing tonight that we are one step closer to bringing our daughters home!
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