What have you learned?....

I was just asked this week, what our greatest lesson was that we are taking out of this adoption journey....  hummmmm...  the thing that came to mind first was the lesson of patience...  I would like to hope that all this waiting will help us be really patient parents to Sheldine & Neffy.  And for all those parents out there, I am sure you can relate...  parenting takes patience...

 Another thing I've learned is how to even greater lean on the Lord... He truly is our source of everything!  Without the Lord in our lives and at the center of this journey... we would have been so lost.  The Lord has surrounded us with such a wonderful support system... blessed us financially and grounded us in our relationship with Him in ways we never expected. 

And yet another thing I've learned during this adoption journey, is how much I really do love my husband.  I've learned what an incrediable person he is... and have seen into the future to what kind of Dad he will be to our daughters.  I am so blessed to have such an amazing person to share this life with.... and for those that know our "history"... that is a wonderful revalation and a testimony to God's grace and mercy!

AND THEN...  as I shared some of these things with the person that challanged me by this question...  they shared something with me...  that really changed some of my thinking...  When we know without a doubt we are walking in God's will for our lives... but things are not panning out how we expect...or as quickly as we think they should... or as we face heartbreaks on that path God has us on...  we need to rejoice!  Walk in joy... knowing that God is doing things that we can not see... or understand... and might never understand this side of heaven...  this was such an eye opening statement to me...  we know without a doubt that Sheldine & Nephtalie will come home someday... and that God will complete the good work he began... but this road has had many heartaches and heartbreakes...  have we always rejoiced?... Nope...we have failed in that department at times... we are so grateful and thankful that God chose us to be the parents of these two amazing little girls...  this has been the hardest journey either me or Darren has been on... but God has never left us... never forsaken us... and we need to change our heart attitude and just rejoice in where He has us... open ourselves up to what He's teaching us... and know that He's got this!  So...today...  I walk in joy...  my arms hurt ... I want to hold my girls again... I want to have them home with us where we KNOW they belong... but I do not want that outside of God's perfect will and perfect timing...

When it RAINS it POURS!!!!

We have all heard that phrase...  and typically when someone tosses this out it's not for a good reason... Typically it's being used because life is throwing too many difficult or laboring things in our path...  I am using this phrase tonight because, in the last week...  in all of it's highs and lows... God has been raining down blessings ...  and blessings..... and blessings...  pouring them down on us!!!  So tonight, I'm choosing to use this phrase for good! 

Sunday was my adoption shower... titled "Princess Party"...  OH MY GOSH...  it was so awesome...  so much love, joy, fellowship, laughter, tears, gifts, blessings, friends, family, kids...  it was AMAZING....   We had two car loads of gifts and an abundance of gift cards and cash to tuck away....  SO... "when it rains it pours"...  BLESSINGS!  I will never forget that day .... I will never forget the kind words... the hugs... the tears...  the excitment that was overwhelming !!!  I finally.... at 41 1/2 years old... I had my baby shower!!!!

THEN...  we find out that Neffy's passport is ready...  after some confusion and upset over a list of documents we were told that each girls file still needed...  a long talk with our agency cleared up some of our intense fears...  it's not as bad as we thought...  We are hopeful and prayerful that Sheldine's passport will come any day now...  and that the couple of standard doucments that are still needed will come quickly too...

So I leave you with this......

When it rains it pours!  Thank You Jesus! 

*** sigh ***

Another week gone... No passports! 

Not sure how much more this Papa and Mamma can take...  we are feeling so lost... clinging to the slight bit of rope we have left...  praying that God will move whatever mountain is in the way and bring this family together, once and for all!  We are holding on to the promise that God gave us over three years ago that adopting from Haiti was exactly how He planned for Darren and I to have children... we know this in our heads... and in our hearts...   This family WILL come together... our girls WILL come home...  Father help us hold on!

So...  Update...

I spoke to our adoption agency on Thursday evening... no real answers...no movement in our process...  We still wait to have Sheldine & Nephtalie's passports issued...  They were applied for on Jan 3rd...  so we wait...  

New Mommy Anxiety

As we close in on this final leg of our adoption journey, I find myself a little anxious abut that change in our lives.  We will officially be the sole caregivers for these two amazing little Haitian beauties.  We will officially be a mommy & daddy... we have waited for so long for this day,  and to see it approaching on the horizon brings a new flood of fears, worries, anxieties and emotions. 

This journey has been such a horribly beautiful- raw and emotional- painful and over the top joyful journey that I wouldn't change.... and it's all about to turn around and become a reality that I sure hope we are ready for.   In our hearts- we are ready... In our home- we are ready...  We have talked and talked... asked and asked... read and researched.... to the best of our ability, we are ready.... right?...  (insert a small amount of anxiousness here).  We have such an amazing supportive family and group of friends.... such a circle of love around us ... and with God at the center of our family, I know we will overcome...  right?... (insert another bit of fear and worry)... We love these girls and feel like we've always known them... but the reality is, we have spent little time with them... and them with us... (another does of anxiety here)...  will they bond quickly?... will they feel safe and secure in their new home with their forever Mommy & Daddy?... I have to believe that God - our ever faithful father is working that out for us, even now... right?  And then there is the worry about their health coming home... their eating habits... new food.. new faces... new places...  they live in an orphanage in a third world country ---  they don't see much else other than the other orphans and the staff... inside the concrete cinder block walls of Maison..... very few times in their lives have they been outside those walls.....will they be totally overwhelmed to the point of breaking?...  We know they will have times of saddness for their friends they have left beind... please God help us handle those times well... PHEW....so much to think about and fret about... and plan for ... and work out... and dream about....  My thoughts make me tired someday's.... And now the nesting has kicked in!!!!  I am organizing and sorting and cleaning out ...  won't be much time for that later when we are knee deep in princess tea parties and barbie dolls... right? 

I heard Joyce Myer make this comment this morning....  "you have everything you already need to be victorious"....  how true is that...  Does't the Word promise that we are MORE than overcomers in Christ...  and that we can do ALL things through Christ who is our strength...  and God promises to NEVER leave nor forsake us...   those are the promises that I cover these fears/worries and anxious thoughts with.... please continue to pray for us as we approach this beautiful pivotal point in our journey...  pray we will have great wisdom and make the right decisions as we transition our girls to their forever home.

The end is in sight...

Two weeks (or so) ago, we received a call from our adoption agency that our adoption decrees were done..  thereby leagally finalizing our adoption... in Haiti...  we are now moving onto the passport & visa steps to bring the girls home. ...  the question we get now... "when do you go get them?"... (which really isn't much different than the questions we were getting)--  we still have no idea when... these final steps can move quickly or they can move slowly....just like this whole entire process....  our obvious prayer is that their passports and visa's will manifest with such speed and accuracy that it will blow everyone's minds...to the glory of God.... BUT.. I was reminded last night in service that God does not use my watch or calendar in His working....  and when those documents come about... the timing will be perfect....

We have a copy of Nephtalie's adoption decree,but have not yet received Sheldine's... The absence of Sheldine's decree is causing some anxiety in both Darren and I...  we have been told it's done and there are no issues... just the simple matter that the lawyer in Haiti has not delivered a copy to the orphanage for them to scan and email it to us....  seems simple enough... but as we have learned through this whole process...NOTHING is simple in Haiti...NOTHING makes sense and it has really stretched our faith and patience...  I guess that is part of God preparing us for parenthood... 

 Seeing Neffy's name listed on that official Haitian Adoption Decree as Nephtalie Condon...  has brought on a sence of urgency to my heart... I am officially a Mom...  at the age of 42...after years and years of longing... praying.. hoping and "letting go" of the dream to have children...  I am a MOM!  All of a sudden the realness of this journey is staring me in the face... I've had to remind myself to exhale .... Very soon... Very Very Very soon... I find myself walking into their rooms... looking at their beds, with new eyes..... kneeling in the middle of their floor to pray... praying new prayers... I have known all along that God would complete the good work he began... because that is His promise to me...  but the tide has shifted...  with that one document... our world has changed...  Darren is legally a Pappa...  He has two daughters...  and I am legally a Momma...  the responsiblity of it all is heavy... real and so wonderful.....  We long to get Sheldine's decree...to see that with our eyes... but again...  this journey has been about walking by faith and not by sight!

We are hoping to have our passports by the end of the year...  we know and have been told that is a bit unrealistic and a long shot... passports are taking awhile......  BUT GOD.....  We will still pray and believe that it can and will happen...  praying and hoping...that in a couple short months... we will be booking our tickets to Haiti... to bring our girls home... 

A wave of new hope.....

As news came across my computer screen today of a family adopting from Maison that will be flying home from Haiti on Nov 18th with their precious adopted daughter... a wave of new hope washes over me.  This will be the first child to leave our orphanage since the earthquake over 2 1/2 years ago!!!  What an amazing day that will be...  I am overjoyed for my sweet new friend and her family...  rejoicing at the joy that must be filling their hearts...  praying that everything flows smoothly and seamlessly for them as they journey this final leg of the adoption process... and step into the next "season" God has for this family...  simply amazed!

 In the midst of this most amazingly difficult and beautiful journey....  I find myself dreaming of the day we step off Haitian soil with our daughters....what will that day be like?...  To be walking into the airport as a complete family of four.  To check in at the ticket counter as the Condon Family!  To walk down the tarmac hand in hand with Sheldine or Neffy... (Pappa will have to manage at least one of them!)...  onto the plane... locating our seats and buckling the girls in...  what will that feel like?...  This will be their first time in an airport...on a plane... how will that feel to them?... what will be going through their minds?....  what will be going through mine?...  Touching down on US soil... making our connecting flights...  stopping for a snack or lunch... in an airport ... in the United States... with my daughters....  flying into Presque Isle... with my kids...  getting off the plane and walking across the runway toward terminal...  what will our thoughts be... what will the girls emotions be like?..  What will their reaction be to seeing their new home... new bedroom... new toys and clothes?....   all of this seems so "unreachable"... yet, so close I can taste it... 

grateful hearts

As we look down the road of the final leg of this adoption... we are blown away at the goodness of the people that God has brought into this journey with us.

 Last Sunday we hosted another HUGE fund-raising event and it was AWESOME!  We did an Old Fashion Family "Fun"-Raiser...  horse rides, face painting, dunk tank, bouce houses, games, food and more....  so many hands went into the planning, executing, organizing, set up, clean up... we are floored by the outpouring of help/donations and assistance we received in pulling this event off.... and then the 350+ people that showed up that day...  How do you fashion a proper "thank you"?  We raised $3600.00 at this event and the donations are still coming in!!!  At some point I think you run out of descriptive words to explain how grateful and thankful and humbled you are.  I believe we are at that point! 

I think about all the generosity of people during this journey and think... this is the heritage of our girls... this generosity and giving is part of their history...  I keep a journal for them (the best I can)... to document this journey and how God unfolded this for our family....  and I can't wait for the day we can sit down and talk about each and every fund-raiser... each and every victory along the way... each and every tear fest and heartbreak...(that is part of this journey too... and God is using those times as well)...  I can't wait to share with them- face to face.... about how God formed our family together in a way that only He can!  This is not just an adoption of two orphaned girls that live in Haiti... and a couple in America that are infertile.  This is KINGDOM work... we have a huge responsibilty to share the goodness... the awesomeness... the provision....the blessings and workings of the Lord with our girls..  I pray we can do it effectively....  I pray that as we continue to walk this path and expierence all that God has for us and our family... that we can effectively share this journey with others and that God will use it to touch their hearts and expand His kingdom! 

This Momma & Pappa are weary...  tired... worn out... and ready for our kids to be home with us....  It's coming...  someday's it feels so far away, and someday's it feels close.   We are so thankful for the support system God had blessed us with...  for those that lift our arms when we don't have the energy anymore.  This picture of our family keeps us going..  The Condon Family!!!