My Haiti Memories

I've not been able to really post since we've come home from Haiti late Sat. night... I never expected the emotions to be so strong and raw... and the hurt to be so severe. It's through tears that I write this new post... I miss my girls!

We left our two beautiful daughters last thursday after only having about 2 1/2 days with them.. not nearly long enough. Walking out of Maison that day was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life. I finally "feel" like a Mamma... and a Mamma shouldn't have to leave her kids like I had to... Praying for strength and an increased trust in God's timing... This Mamma is excited but hurting... exhausted and weepy... prayer-filled and rejoicing... trusting and longing...


The things I've learned from our trip to Haiti.

1. I love my husband more than I even knew I did.
2. My husband is a wonderful father.
3. My girls have the most beautiful chocolate skin~the sweetest personalities~are so smart and silly~can eat as much as their Pappa ... and have some spunk in them!
4. Haiti is far more devestated than I expected and the people are so amazing.
5. Those in Haiti that are believers in Jesus Christ are so beautiful and faith-filled and supportive and loving.
6. I love Rice & Beans with Creole sauce.
7. I really can drink warm water if I have to.
8. God can give you the strength to walk through anything He calls you to walk through... I would not be functioning right now without the Lord and all the prayer cover.
9. Our family, church family and friends are simply the most amazing, supportive, loving, caring, devoted and generous people ... I knew this before we left... but it's taken on a whole new meaning since returning to the states.
10. I can be scared into a state of ferverent prayer by an airline flight! Miami to Boston last Friday was AWFUL!
11. The US Embassy grounds- with uniformed and armed officers can be a bit intimidating...and Haitian Court does not look like anything I expected!
12. Maison Staff works hard on our behalf and takes great pride in hosting the families when the come in!
12. Nephtalie is silly and sassy... comical and motherly
13. Sheldine is quiet and reserved... has a silly side and the best belly laugh!!!

Highpoints of our week
1. Obviously ... meeting our girls for the first time... when we were waiting on the porch at Maison for them to come out... I looked up and these two most amazing little girls (dressed alike) walked out with Angie the missionary... I lost it... to acutally touch and hold them for the first time turned this journey from dream to reality...
2. Taking the girls back to the hotel for the 2 1/2 day's we had was overwhelming. It was great to just be a family. To do regular "Mamma/Pappa and family" things... sponge baths, breakfast, potty breaks, reading stories, nap time, play time, bed time, prayer time.... the list goes on and on...
3. Meeting the other families that were also visiting their kids that week... we have made some life long friends... more than just friends... we are family... I love how God brings people into your life...
4. Meeting Suefreun~ our body guard... He was with us wherever we went, and I never felt unsafe... '
5. Walking around the orphange and seeing how little they have and how joyfilled they are. The Nannies are amazing... the staff is amazing... and Angie is amazing... these people love our kids and take such good care of them!
6. Driving around PAP, Haiti was not a "highpoint" in the sence that you would normally call it a "highpoint"... it was heartbreaking to see how these people are living... to see how very little they have... Darren's comment while taking our driving tour of PAP was, "we have nothing to complain about"... so true... we have so much
7. Being able to facebook video chat with some friends and family while in Haiti... and having them see the girls for the first time was so fun and memorable.
8. Hearing.... "I love you Mamma".... melts my heart just to think of those sweet sweet voices... calling me Mamma... expressing their love...
9. Walking into the orphanage...before we even met the girls... having the kids point to me and say.. "Mamma Sheldine, Mamma Nephtalie".. these kids know who I am... know who my girls are... and are excited for us... that is amazing... even at a young age, they recognize the forming of families...
10. While piling in the van to head to the airport on Friday... one of the hotel workers named Christian, walked up to the open door of the van... with his hands lifted high in praise... prayed over us and for us (in Creole) for about 3 minutes... it was so beautiful... he said his "amen" and then shook each one of our hands...
11. My first attempt at "time out" with Sheldine had her laughing at me... guess we have much to work on when they get home! My silly little rebel.

I will never forget that first moment of seeing my girls walking toward me... matching outfits that the Nanny's had chosen for them... all sparkling clean and smelling so fresh and pretty... hair done just right... The nanny's take great pride in preparing your children for you... and they did a remarkable job... our girls were stunning!!!!!!

My heart aches...my arms ache... my eyes burn... I miss my girls

2 More Sleeps

Sleep does not come easliy these day's... I took today off, but was wide awake at 4am! I might be a tad bit excited about our upcoming trip to Haiti! Two more day's to complete the MASS amount of details/packing/paperwork/organizing that needs to be done for this journey.... excitement is setting in this morning in a new way!

I can't wait to hold my daughters for the first time... I can't wait to see my husband with his daughters... what an overwhelming blessing and gift. I've been thinking about what a huge responsibility this is... God is handing us these two precious little girls... to take care of, teach, love, support, encourage, protect and guide. So amazing

8 More Sleeps

In my stressed out, overwhelmed, stretched too thin state... I am so excited that in a mere 8 more sleeps, we will be stepping onto a plane to begin the journey of our very first trip to Haiti and the more amazing journey of meeting our 2 daughters for the very first time... so surreal!

I can't wait to meet the staff at Maison... the other families traveling...I can't wait to meet all the children at Maison and have lunch at the Creche'.... I can't wait to meet some of the people in Haiti and take in everything we can about this country... the good and the bad... this is the homeland and culture that our daughters come from... this trip is BIG!

31 Day's!

We only have 31 Day's to wait until we get to meet our girls for the very first time!!!! We are excited beyond words!!!!! With every photo we get, these two precious girls are cemented deeper and deeper into our hearts!!!!

43 Day's and counting!!!!

Happy New Year!!!!!!

The last few weeks have been so hard for this adopting mommy... but in the gracious and amazing way our heavenly Father works... our prayers have been answered!!!! On Friday 1/6/12 we received an email from CAN's telling us we have been cleared to travel and we are scheduled for the Feb 20-24th Family Bonding Trip to HAITI!!!! We are going to meet our girls!!!! We are just so overwhelmed it's really hard to put into words...

I have mutiple lists going already.. frantically searching for plane tickets... dreaming of meeting our girls for the first time... this is ~ AMAZING!

We will have two appointment on our first trip as well. One to the Haitian Court where we will simply sign a "notebook"...(have no idea what this is really about, just know it's a step we must do) The second will be to the US Embassy where we will be "sworn in" and under oath answer questions... again... no idea what this really means or what it's for... but we'll just do what they say we must do to get to our goal of bringing our two beautiful daughters home! We do not know after this trip how long it will be for everything to be finalized... God knows though and we rest in that!

We will get to meet other families that are adopting from the same orphanage and we are so excited for that... to meet their children and being forming life long friendships with families going through EXACTLY what we are going through. I love how God brings people into your life ... for such a time as this!

Our prayer request is for the provision to pay for the trip and next adoption payments as well as for our hearts... it's hard not to think of the day we have to leave Haiti and come home without our girls this time... I can't imagine what that will be like... but we choose to rejoice... God has a plan and He is unfolding it before our eyes.... He is our comfort and our strength... He is our provider!

Being a "mommy in waiting".....

I de believe after all I've been through in my life-- this adoption journey is the hardest-most emotional roller coaster ride I've ever been on. Such joy- anxiety- fear- frustration- pain- heart ache-and amazing blessings all wrapped up into one "life expierence". This journey toward being a Mom has taught me more about myself that I ever expected to know. God had stretched me in ways I never thought I could survive.

Everyday and every night my thoughts are consumed by my daughters... when will we get to meet them?... When will we be bringing them home?.... What are they doing this exact moment?... Will they adjust well to our forever family or will we struggle?... Will we be able to handle leaving Haiti after our first trip over to meet them?... What will their personalities be like?... Will they like chocolate?... What will our first Christmas be like?... Will they be athletic and creative?... How am I going to help them with "new math"?.... and on, and on, and on it goes.... I find some peace in knowing God knows the answers to all these questions... and God knows my human weaknesses and faults... and I truly believe He is equipping both Darren and I into being the parents He needs us to be for these precious little girls... As we wait... we do fund-raising... praying... decorating their room... praying... creating a play room for them... praying... paperwork and updating...praying... reading parenting books.... and PRAYING

Bitter and Sweet

Thanksgiving has come and gone... it was a lovely day spent in fellowship and food with our families... but it was a day spent thinking of our girls non-stop.. wondering what they were doing... wondering what our first Thanksgiving with them here will be like.... dreaming... wishing... hoping... praying... Bitter & Sweet~ That seems to be how we spend everyday right now.

We are currently/slowly working on their bedroom... it's fun and exciting but creates a deeper longing in our hearts. I walk in there room almost daily and look at the two little empty twin beds and wonder what it will be like to go in there and see them snuggled in thier beds, playing in their room with their toys ....This feels like the longest pregnancy EVER! Not that I know what it "feels' like to be pregnant... but I do understand the longing- anticipation- excitment....

The furter into this journey we get- the more we can see how deeply invested our friends and family are in this journey too.... and that is a huge blessing and a great comfort to us. We talk non-stop about the process, the girls, our plans, our prayers..... on and on and on... and we are never faced with the feeling that the people close to us are tired of hearing it... we find they are just as anxious to hear, plan and pray! We are so blessed!