Two years ago, I had the honor and privilege and huge blessing of celebrating this holiday in Haiti with my two daughters, my mother, my sister and my dear friend Liz. What a special time. I was given presents (one was an ice cold bottle of coke!!!) and cards and we created some special memories ... but today... I ache for the birth mothers of my daughters. I wonder if they are thinking of and praying for the daughters they no longer have. If they pray for and long for the daughters they gave up or walked away from?
Adoption is amazing and such a gift... but adoption is hard and heartbreaking too.
I ache for one birth mother I never met... I have no idea what she looks like... I simply have her name on some court documents and a Haitian birth certificate. I wonder if she misses her girl? I wonder why she walked away? I have no idea where she is and if she's even alive... I pray she is... I pray she is well taken care of and happy... I pray she knows Jesus.
The other mother I met...so young and meek. Her face showing little emotion but full of beauty and poise. Her only request was to give her birth daughter an education and to never let her forget she has family in Haiti.....I wonder how she celebrates today? If at all. Is it hard for her knowing one of her young is thousands of miles away with a new family? I wonder if she regrets? I wonder if she thinks of my girl when she looks at her other child?
I wonder....the questions swirl around and around... almost on a daily basis... I wonder, but I do not judge.
I don't have any idea what it would take to push someone... a mother... to drop her baby off at an orphanage... sign that child away... and walk away...forever... What kind of situations were these two birth mothers in to do something so desperate ...so life changing... so final. I have seen the total destruction in Haiti since the earth quake... what total desperation these birth parents must feel.
We do not talk much about birth parents with the girls... we let them take the lead, and if they ask... we will share what we know. We are still in transition with them and I fear if we push them.... we'll encounter huge set-back. We walk on thin ice emotionally as we journey forward. In a perfect world.... we would have a celebration for the girls birth mothers today... we are not there yet... maybe someday... but again, in a perfect world.... they would not be mine.... Today, I am grateful for in imperfect world.... I have two beautiful amazing daughters from Haiti... I have the huge responsibility of raising them... but the incredible blessing of loving them.
To all the birth mothers out there that have had to make a decision to put aside your own wants and desires... and think of your child's needs first... bless you! I pray your heart will be comforted!
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