Being a "mommy in waiting".....

I de believe after all I've been through in my life-- this adoption journey is the hardest-most emotional roller coaster ride I've ever been on. Such joy- anxiety- fear- frustration- pain- heart ache-and amazing blessings all wrapped up into one "life expierence". This journey toward being a Mom has taught me more about myself that I ever expected to know. God had stretched me in ways I never thought I could survive.

Everyday and every night my thoughts are consumed by my daughters... when will we get to meet them?... When will we be bringing them home?.... What are they doing this exact moment?... Will they adjust well to our forever family or will we struggle?... Will we be able to handle leaving Haiti after our first trip over to meet them?... What will their personalities be like?... Will they like chocolate?... What will our first Christmas be like?... Will they be athletic and creative?... How am I going to help them with "new math"?.... and on, and on, and on it goes.... I find some peace in knowing God knows the answers to all these questions... and God knows my human weaknesses and faults... and I truly believe He is equipping both Darren and I into being the parents He needs us to be for these precious little girls... As we wait... we do fund-raising... praying... decorating their room... praying... creating a play room for them... praying... paperwork and updating...praying... reading parenting books.... and PRAYING

Bitter and Sweet

Thanksgiving has come and gone... it was a lovely day spent in fellowship and food with our families... but it was a day spent thinking of our girls non-stop.. wondering what they were doing... wondering what our first Thanksgiving with them here will be like.... dreaming... wishing... hoping... praying... Bitter & Sweet~ That seems to be how we spend everyday right now.

We are currently/slowly working on their bedroom... it's fun and exciting but creates a deeper longing in our hearts. I walk in there room almost daily and look at the two little empty twin beds and wonder what it will be like to go in there and see them snuggled in thier beds, playing in their room with their toys ....This feels like the longest pregnancy EVER! Not that I know what it "feels' like to be pregnant... but I do understand the longing- anticipation- excitment....

The furter into this journey we get- the more we can see how deeply invested our friends and family are in this journey too.... and that is a huge blessing and a great comfort to us. We talk non-stop about the process, the girls, our plans, our prayers..... on and on and on... and we are never faced with the feeling that the people close to us are tired of hearing it... we find they are just as anxious to hear, plan and pray! We are so blessed!

Milestones

This is such a journey of faith. Such a journey of high "highs" and low "lows"... such a journey that will tear your heart out... stretch you like taffy on an old fashion taffy machine (thanks for the symbolize Dawn!)... Today is a milestone for these waiting parents. Our Dossier has officially been delivered to the Creche in Port-au-Prince, Haiti! We still have 2-3 months wait before we can expect to be invited to travel and meet our girls... but this is a good, good day!!!!

We love you Sheldine & Nephtalie!!!

Heavy Hearted Parents

This has been such a rollercoaster ride... on Sat. morning I receieved an email saying our Dossier had been sent to Haiti... I was so overjoyed I sat at my compter crying!!! We were walking on air....so thrilled to have our Dossier finally on the move! Then comes Monday... another email from our agency telling us there had been a miscommunication and our Dossier is still sitting in Austin, TX. waiting for one document to come back from the Haitian Consulate... frustration... anxiety... saddness.... There is a document that came back from the Haitian Consulate stamped incorrectly... and to date, our agency still has not received it back ... nor can they get any information as to it's whereabouts...

We want to go meet our girls... to start bonding with them and sharing our hearts with them... it just feels like we will never get there... that there is no light at the end of this long dark tunnel.

We prayed this morning that we would continue to trust in God's perfect timing... trust that He is in control... trust that He knows exactly where that one missing document is....trust that He would hold us together through this ... trust that He has a plan and a purpose in all this ...

Our hearts are already in Haiti....... not much we can do but sit and wait... and pray

From 2 to 4

Today we began to assemble the room across the hall for our girls! We have a long way to go before we have the house organized... arranged.., and all set up for the arrival of our kiddos-- but we are so excited to have these project ahead of us... will keep us busy for sure!

It was surreal sitting in their room today... Darren sitting on one bed, and me on the other....talking about what bed each girl would choose... their little Clifford dog's (purchased by Auntie Tania & Uncle Dana... Meghan & Olivia)... sitting on each bed... we will be turning our house from a two person home to a lively- exciting- house of four!!!

Frustration and Longing

We are still waiting for our Dossier to finish up the process stateside! Two weeks ago today our documents were mailed to Washington D.C. for the authentication process. We have not heard back as to the status of that. After this step, our documents go back to Austin, TX.... then hopefully very quickly off to the orphanage in Haiti... THEN... our POA presents them to the IBESR (Haitian Social Services) for acceptance..... then we can travel!

This week is the family bonding trip that we hoped to be on. We are so excited for the families that are over in Port-au-Prince spending time loving on their kids... but our hearts hurt that we are not there with our girls! The next family bonding trip is the first week in December, so our prayer now is that God would open the floodgates for the finances to come through for the trip and for our documents to get moving and to the point where we have the invite to travel for that next trip. What a wonderful Christmas gift that would be!!!!

Time & Money

As we share the awesome news about where we are in this whole journey.. the news of our girls waiting for us in Haiti... I find that two questions I get asked the most are, "how much more time?" and "How much more money?"...two very tough questions to answer!

As far as the timeline we are looking at.. there are so many unknowns and so much that is out of our hands. BUT- we know who's hands things lay in! Our Dossier is current still in our agency's office getting translated. On June 24th we mailed our Dossier to Children of All Nations. Our Dossier has gone through the certification process and is now in translation- upon completion of translation, it will go to the Haitian Consulate (state side) for authentication- back to CAN's for them to organize it and forward it to the IBESR in Haiti (social services). On August 3rd we received the referral call/email and were given two weeks to make our decision. We actually knew in our hearts that who ever was on the other side of that email- well, they were our kids! August 16th- referral acceptance and referral payment sent to Children of All Nations. It is hard not to be frustrated by the length of time it's taken our Dossier to even leave the states... we still do not know how much longer it will take for this to happen. After our Dossier get's to the IBESR... we are unsure of how long it takes at that point for us to be cleared and invited to travel to meet our girls. There is so much of his journey that we "walk by faith & not by sight"... actually... ALL of this journey is by faith... We have photo's of our girls... videos we have seen... and here we are... miles and miles and miles away from them.... longing to be with them... This is HARD!

For the financial side of the adoption... we still have a long ways to go! Our next payment will be due in November - $1800.00 - that is just the living expense of the girls that we agree to pay. We will pay $1800 every three months until we bring them home. This money goes directly to the orphanage for our girls! There are document fees coming up that we have no idea when they will become due- and those are going to total roughly $5000.00. (court documents and their passports).... Plus travel expenses for at least two trips to Haiti. We have to stay in a hotel that will run us $150 per night... pay for food, airfare, immunizations before we go..etc... Again, this walk has been fully by faith and not by sight. If I go with what I can see... we won't make it.... when I look back at how far we have come in this last year... I'm amazed !!! Every deadline for payment sake-- we have had in our adoption account exactly what we needed... When we mailed our referral acceptance payment... we were back to about $110 in our account... we are doing fund-raisers galore to help this account grow. We have been so blessed! It's amazing how our friends, family, church and communtity have come around us in support... emotional support, financial support and covering us in prayer! We are humbled and eternally grateful!

Fund-Raising!

Currently we are doing the bottle drive. We have an account at the PI Redemption Center- "Condon Adoption".

October 7th - Scentsy Party @ my sisters house in Fort Fairfield- Consultant Ashley Dyer is donating part of her commission off this party directly to our adoption fund! THANKS Ashley

Thirty-one Gifts- On August 1st - I took on a second job selling for the company Thirty-one Gifts. I a doing this as a way to generate a second income to help aid our adoption. If you are intested in placing an order, you can go to my website www.mythirtyone.com/scondon or if you want to host a party... give me a call! 554-7399

And if you feel in your heart to just simply give- we have linked a paypal donate button right at the top of our blog page!

With so many unknown day's ahead in this journey... we look to Him daily to give us the strength, patience and endurance we need to just make it to the next day! What a gift this journe is... even in the trying times... the emotional times... the sad and heartbreaking times.... it's still a joy and a blessing... on the other side... our forever family !!!

Our girls in action!!!

I LOVE FACEBOOK!!!!

Just over the last few day's, we have been linked up with a bunch of families that are in the process of adopting from the same Creche (orphanage) that we are adopting our girls from. This has been such a HUGE blessing to us!!! We have "met" people that know... have seen...and have been praying for our girls!!! Just last night we were directed to a youtube video titled "Toddler Crackers" and were able to see both our girls on video. I can not even describe the feelings and emotions we both had. The desire to meet and hug and love on our girls is getting stronger every second of the day! To see them moving and talking (even if we couldn't understand a word they said) eating and smiling... what a joy... blessed our hearts!

Nephtalie turns 4

Last wed. one of our little girls turned 4 years old. It still amazes me how we can miss and love someone that we have not met. For this "mom to be", last wed. was a very difficult day.

My husband in all his wisdom suggested we ask if sending her a "Happy Birthday" email was ok. I thought it to be a long shot, but asked our adoption agency anyway. THEY SAID YES.

I quickly typed up an email... trying to express our hearts for her... trying to express our anxious desire to have her home with us... and hoping/praying that my words would break the language barrier of creole vs. english. Signing the email... with tears in my eyes... " all our hugs & kisses, Daddy & Mommy"

Waiting with breath held and anxious hearts... to find out if the email was actually delivered to her... read to her... expressed to her...

God is an amazing God... Thursday afternoon- email forwarded via our agency, from the orphanage... with four beautiful pictures of our little Talie- reading her birthday email and SMILING!

Love is the universal language!

Now we are praying and hoping and asking for pictures of Sheldine... and hoping/praying and asking for pictures of our girls together!

Our family begins to take shape!

Two small wallet sized photo's are sitting on my desk... framed and in a place where I can see them mutiple times a day... the faces of our daughters.... YES.... our two little girls....waiting for us in Haiti.

About 2 weeks ago, we accepted the referral from Haiti of two little 4 year old girls...(non-related)... Sheldine turned four in July and Nephtalie turns four next week. I can not tell you the emotions that go along with this step in our journey. We love them so much, and miss them terribly... yet we have not met them face to face. We do not know if they have been told about us yet... we do not know when we'll be flying to Haiti to meet them. What we do know is that God is in control and we are focusing on trusting Him more and more every day.

Upon acceptance of our referral we again drained our adoption fund. It is never-wracking and amazing all at the same time that for each step of the way, we have had exactly what we needed... when we needed it!

Our next payments are for some in-counrty fee's- the passports for the girls- at least two trips to Haiti and we now pay their living expenses every three months in the amount of $300 a month per child. We know that God is faithful!

I have added a paypal "donate" button to our blog.... we would not have been able to get this far without the abundant generosity of our friends, family, communtity and neighbors... we give God all the glory and praise for how this has unfolded before our eyes! We have much funds yet to raise and it's hard to ask for help- and thank you for your love and support. This has been a journey that far exceeds what we first expected... a journey that far exceeds just involving Darren and myself... a journey that is emotionally draining- physically exhausting... and simply amazing...

stay tuned our faithful blog followers..... we can't wait to share more with you....

New Journey

As we move forward on this adoption journey... I've been praying about and seeking a part time job that would allow me to earn some extra money, but that would be a good fit for our life. We still have much money to raise and a second job will allow me to put my 'paycheck' directly into our adoption account.

As always, God is faithful to provide a way.

A couple of months ago, I was introduced to a company that I have never heard of before. Thirty-One gifts. This is a faith based company that was established in 2003. The name comes directly from the Proverbs 31 woman. They are an up and coming company that offer great & stylish products at very reasonable prices. After much prayer, discussion and wondering... I decided to take a leap of faith and signed up to be a consultant. I have never done anything like this before and I'm excited at the possibilities and opportunities that will be coming my way. This company is just what I was looking for!

I will be holding my "launch party" in the form of an open house on August 19th at 6pm. Hostess is Tania Boardman! (Thanks Sister!) I have created an event-- please RSVP and come check out the wonderful products!

God Bless
Shelly

The Wait.....

We finally sent our paperwork (Dossier) the end of June... It was so hard to actually hand our Dossier to the FedEx lady... we worked so long and hard on each and every document... there was a small sense of anxiety in handing it to another human being to care for it... even if it was to just ship it to Austin, Tx.

Each document is now going through the certification/authentication & translation step. We can expect a phone call from CAN's 1-3 months from now, telling us that a referral is being sent to us (via email). This referral is the photo and information/history sheet on the children that Haiti has paired us up with... It goes without saying that we are SUPER excited and can't wait to get that phone call.

The thought of bringing our children home and starting our lives with our forever family is far beyond any words we can use. We are watching.... waiting... praying... and loving them already!

Dossier wrapping up

Trip to Portland last week to have our biometric fingerprints done and our Psych Eval done... results... we are not criminals... and we have been deemed "psychologically sound"!!! AWESOME!!!

We have just a few more documents to get completed/turned in and notarized... then we can mail our huge box of documents - fancy title--Dossier... into our agency!!!

Next step.... wait for the referral!

Papers, Papers and more Papers

We are still in the midst of creating our Dossier that we will send to Children of All Nations at the end of June... my gosh... who knew you could even collect this many pieces of paper!!! We are thrilled to finally have our FBI Biometric fingerprints appointment in Portland -- AND to finally have found someone to do our Psych Eval! YES... We have to have a psych eval !!!! A bit nervous about that... but this doctor comes highly recommended by the social worker that did our home study...so that brings a bit of relief. Walking into the Immigration building in South Portland next thursday will be so exciting... and nerve-wracking too. This "dream" is slowly but surely becoming our reality... our child is out there waiting!

Abundant Blessings!

The Fund-Raiser was amazing... a time of fellowship and community... family, food and laughter!! We had a goal in mind for this event. Our next payment due the end of June is $4700.00. We exceeded that and now have a start on saving for the next payment. We again are in awe of God's hand moving in this journey. More and more we know without a doubt, that being parents of a child from Haiti is God's plan for us. Thank you to all those that donated auction items, time, food and to those that came out to support us... we are more than blessed....

Fund-Raising

The cost of adoption is overwhelming.. expensive... and seems to be out of our reach... just when we think it can't happen and begin to doubt or fear that the funds just won't come through... God reminds us how big He is, how good He is and just how faithful He is......

Both of our families have been working so hard and steadfast on our upcoming Fund-Raising Dinner and Silent Auction that is scheduled on 4/15/11. The support and generosity from our friends, families and the community is simply amazing. We can't wait for Friday night and have the chance to share our story and give God all the glory! He is so faithful and meets ALL our needs!

what is in a name

Maison des Enfants de Dieu-- translation... House of God's children. That is the name of the orphanage where our child will come from. Might seem like a small detail or small piece of information ... but it means so much to us!

Things, they are a moving.....

So much has happened since my last post...

WOW... such a whirlwind of activity...

We are working through collecting the MOUNTAINS of paperwork required to complete our Dossier... (deadline for submission is 6/30/11). We have completed the required visits with the social worker for our home study and what a blessing that was. She was so friendly and sweet. What a joy to meet with her and open up about this journey and why we decided to adopt from Haiti. We are currently re-doing a medical form for our home study... a small bump in the road.... but "this too shall pass". Other than getting that medical form resubmitted, we have ourselves an approved home study. The home study is a huge part of this journey and can't wait for it to be final !!! The we move onto immigration paperwork, fingerprints, power of attorney papers, reference letters... and more!

It's amazing to be walking this walk of blind faith... moving toward parenthood. I know that I already feel like a mom. I do not know if we will be paired with a boy or girl... what their age will be... what kind of personality they will have... or what their background is... but the love that I have in my heart is amazing! God is opening my heart and my husbands heart to more than I ever dreamed possible!

We are currently planning a fund-raising dinner and silent auction for April 15th, 2011. (STAY TUNED FOR MORE INFO!). We also have been linked up with www.soapandcotton.com James & Alicia Taubin's soap and knitting company, great ministry and great products... check them out!!!! We have the money to finish the home study and to cover the immigration paperwork, but the last big payment we submit with our Dossier in June is $4500.00 and that we have yet to raise. Plus travel money as we'll be invited to go to Haiti after we are paired with our child and then back again to pick up our child at the completion of this journey. The financial need seems so great and overwhelming... but we serve a God that promises that He will complete the good work He started... and we walk in that promise!!! Please be in prayer for us in regards to the financial needs.

Thanks for reading... thanks for your support... and your prayers!

Walk by faith, and not by sight

One step at a time!

We have submitted our home study packet and wait to hear from St. Andre's to call and schedule our home visit and interviews.... We find ourselves anxious about this step, as you can not move forward without an approved home study. We are trying to just remember that God has called us to this journey, and He is a faithful God and will provide what we need, when we need it.

Last week marked the year anniversary of the earthquake in Haiti. The news footage is getting harder and harder to watch. We know that our child is there waiting for us. We do not know who they are yet, but our hearts are there with them. Please keep praying for all the children in Haiti and the people as they continue to rebuild.