The Valley

This "journey to parenthood" has been such a walk of blind faith...  full of mountain top highs and deep/dark valley lows...  Today we found out that Sheldine's BM missed her 3 scheduled USCIS appt and we have to request another appointment for her.  It really will not stall our process at this point... it's still early enough (or so we have been told) and that there is plenty of time for her to fulfill her requirement of going to the US Embassy in Port-au-Prince and completing her part of this step....  BUT... GEEZE... we were just hoping for some good news... we do not know why she missed again and I find myself trying NOT to be upset with her.  I can not even begin to imagine what her world looks like as I know very little about her.  I do not know what the "home" she lives in looks like.  I do not know what her at home family dynamic looks like.  I do not know what her health situation is like or her financial situation is like. I can neither imagine what an emotionally rollercoaster this is for her as well....  to give up a child because you can no longer provide and care for them...  I just can't imagine..... I can only assume, after seeing with my own eyes the total destruction of most of Port-au-Prince... that she has very little.   We have been assured that her missing a few times is "not a big deal"... and that Maison staff will make sure she makes it to her appointment at some point...  all this being said... I am lifting up this mom tonight to the Lord... I do not know her situation... but He does.  I pray He will bless her with clean water to drink, food to eat, medicine if needed, a roof over her head and I pray she has Jesus in her heart.  The disconnect with my children is hurting more and more...  they are growing and learning.... and needing...  and we are not with them...  my other prayer tonight is that God would quickly build that final bridge for us to bring them home... Tonight I am in a valley...  but just as much as God knows exactly where Sheldine's BM is in her life and in her heart... He knows mine too.